April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month – granted, I’m a little late in figuring this out, but better late than never! I’ve discovered it thanks to abyss2hope who I’ve recently discovered and added to my feminist blogroll. She’s posted about today, April 3rd, being “A Day to End Sexual Violence” and has organized “Blog Against Sexual Violence Day” as a way for the blog world to raise awareness of a much needed movement.
I only know (personally) one person who has been violently, physically, sexually assaulted. I know of several others who have been harrassed in other ways. They are only a few in a world of many. Being a college student and working in/around law enforcement has opened my eyes to more things than I can honestly say that I cared to see. Working and being around mostly men has subjected me to things that I would rather not have memories of.
I’ve been around people, males, that I considered friends when they’ve asked me in that quiet, suggestive tone, “Don’t all women have a rape fantasy?” Luckily I was quick enough to fire back “I’m sure rape victims don’t.” I’ve heard the jokes, the assumptions that women ask for it by wearing the clothes they do, or by being in a frat house drinking. I’ve been around when an assault has taken place and one of my officers has had to go to the hospital to speak with the victim. I was there when that same officer came back distraught over what happened, and over being attacked by the victim’s friends who screamed “Where were you when this was happening to her??” I’ve seen it from several sides, but by no means all of them.
This is the world we live in, and daily we hear about
how women are used as objects for men in the subways to jerk off to or how the courts deny a mother’s pleas to restrict her husband’s access to her kids after multiple threats from the man to kill them all, because she’s still sleeping with him! She was sleeping with him because she felt she had to, that she had no other way to protect her children.
I know this post is a bit rambly, but there are so many things out there that deserve attention. Like this: The Greatest Silence: Rape in the Congo which is airing on HBO April 8th, 2008 at 10:00 PM. Unfortunately I have to work that night so I won’t be able to really do anything but spread the word about it.
I guess that’s all some of us really can do, is spread the word. Spread the word in any way we can whether its through sponsoring a R.A.D. class through school (as my department does) or blogging about the topic, or going and volunteering at a crisis center. Here’s a commitment to do more, starting with this blog.
You, as many others in society and the criminal justice system do, overlook the sexual victimization of male S/A victims, who frequently are more traumatized than female victims. Your blog views overlooked “gray rape” as well as the damning accusations of “false alligators.” Advocating and intervening for sex crime victims is not the proper place to indoctrinate others with your well-meaning but naive feminist views.
And you, like some others that will probably read this, have failed to actually read what I have written. Right off the bat I said that the point was to spread awareness of the topic – not to teach or certainly not to provide a single blog that would inform the public of EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of rape or sexual assault. If I had set out to cover EVERY SINGLE ASPECT then yes, those areas would be overlooked. But, no, my blog is my blog – it is not the be all end all of everything sexual assault.
I am, however, quite honored to meet the perfect feminist you claim to be though. Perhaps, you would be so inclined to explain to me what a “false alligator” is because I’m not sure how the four legged creatures fit in here…
Thanks for such a great post. If Hollywood Beach feels that certain victims have been overlooked HB is welcome to focus on those victims as part of the BASV.
Sad that your first comment was so negative – I appreciated your honesty about how big and complicated the topic is and how much you feel like you’re still learning. If you want to do more, I invite you to check us out – we’re an organization that works with college students who want to change how sexual assault is prevented and responded to on their campuses. http://www.safercampus.org
Thanks for your mention of Sexual Assault Awareness Month! It’s not always very well publicized, so every post helps.
I really like your style. Mind if I add you to my links / blogroll?
Marcella – thank you, and I agree. I think what you and others are doing is great, and while I wish I would have found your blogs earlier so that I would have been more prepared I did want to do what I could to participate. I by no means claim to know everything, at least not as much as it appears HB does, but I do have the open mind to learn.
Nora – Thank you, I do know that I don’t know everything about the topic…I am DEFINITELY still learning. Thank you for suggesting the website, I’ll be checking that out shortly!
Venus – Thank you! As you can tell this blog is new in the sense that I’m only now just starting to write regularly. I’d be happy to be added to yours, and I’ll be adding you to mine as well!